You will never have a perfect relationship with your work.

Ah, the thrill of starting a new project.

What is today going to bring to the table? Is it finally the moment everyone acknowledges the work, or maybe it’s downtime and it doesn’t even feel like working on it today? Does it actually matter? Maybe it’s just a waste of time. Maybe you’d rather pour a glass of wine and call it “self-care.”

That feeling of endless possibilities is mesmerizing, but some days it feels like the whole existence of the project is a hoax, too good to be true, and sometimes, honestly, it seems like it.

When your work aligns with your personal vision, it feels like you’re taking over everything. The industry, the other players, practically everything. It’s that feeling in basketball when every shot goes in, Steph Curry from the stands, or Virgil dropping another collection, and it just happens. Naturally.

And then there are days when it doesn’t work. No explanation, it just doesn’t. Nothing makes sense. Welcome to the passive-aggressive relationship with your work. Once you signed up for this game, it’s here to stay.

Sometimes you oscillate between early wins and sudden quiet. One body of work gets acclaim, while another is treated like a DIY project you might stumble across at Blick on Broadway Street, in that spiral-staircase basement-art-dungeon kind of space. Yes, exactly that one. (is it just us? the atmosphere is bit weird there).

A lot of things can move that scale, letting the “negative side” take over the “positive side,” and it can be both internal and external.

Maybe it’s a deadline pressing you to put something out before it even feels ready? or clients who keep nudging you in directions that don’t quite fit? All these little pressures pile up and suddenly the work feels heavier than it should.

Then there’s self-doubt. could be comparing yourself to others or realizing that not every project is going to be fulfilling or successful. And honestly, that’s exactly why you need a “creative tool bag”. A creative toolbox you can reach for when the “negative side” creeping in.

Maybe it’s music, maybe it’s coffee. Maybe it’s stepping outside for five minutes, breathing fresh air, taking a short walk, can be 1000 different things. Everyone’s got their thing.

The important part is having it. It’s what lets you oscillate between the highs and lows, letting this complicated relationship with your work flourish, evolve, and guide you through the next project, the one after that, and the one after that, all the way to a full portfolio and beyond.

Ok some positive stuff here, it’s not going to be the end of the world on this thread!

Understanding that struggle is inherent to creative work allows you to step back once you recognize it and identify what’s causing it. Once you do, you can develop a mechanism to navigate it and avoid letting it overwhelm you.

Maybe it’s about boundaries. Boundaries are one of the key players in this game. You gave yourself projects, deadlines, maybe even more than you could chew. Now it feels heavy. But adjusting the boundaries before the work even starts can completely change the trajectory.

And again, perfectionism doesn’t exist. It only delays things. You might think a piece isn’t good enough, and while you’re pondering it, someone else is already out there doing. Overthinking only adds pressure and doubt. Do it. Half your audience is too busy worrying about their own lives to judge your work the way you do. As long as the message is clear, execution is secondary.

Reflecting on past “failures” is another tool. It helps you see what really needs adjustment.

Imagine a designer looking at a collection and thinking, “Well, that’s not good enough.” What’s next? Sit there and feel bad about it, or dissect it and make changes? Maybe the issue was the draping, but you got so caught up in the bigger picture that you questioned the whole thing for no reason. Acceptance is realizing that the work isn’t perfect, but it can still grow.

Now that it makes total sense this is universal, that every creative goes through it; we can see how to tackle it. First, acknowledge it. Then, take it all the way to the moon and above.

Embrace that passive-aggressive relationship with your work. Yes, it’s messy, yes, it’s unpredictable, but it’s also a natural gift. And that gift iss something to be grateful for!